My sister Molly was here in Madagascar with me for the
summer. Less than a week before she was supposed to fly out, she started having
intense cramps in her kidney area. At first, we assumed she had eaten something
that made her sick—we had just been out in a rural area. After a day or so, the
cramping went away, and this idea seemed even more likely. Then, her pains began
again, this time much worse. I took her to the clinic here in Tulear, and they
were able to give her medicine for both pain and vomiting, and they found signs
of infection. They gave us some medication and sent us home.
At this point, I had about ten pills I was supposed to give
her daily, and three days until her flight back to the USA. She was always on
the verge of the intense pain, struggled to eat anything, and had unpredictable
and frequent nausea and vomiting. Also, the options for good health care here
in Madagascar are of course very limited.
This was one of those situations I dread. I hate making
decisions, especially when there are multiple, inter-dependent factors
involved, and especially when some of those factors are other people’s feelings. And while I know that every day people
deal with situations much more serious and frightening than this, I really did
feel the weight of responsibility for Molly in a way I never have before.
Another hard part was Molly herself. The pain medicines she
was on made her very emotional and depressed, and of course none of us thinks
clearly when we’re in pain.
So, in the midst of all this, I started discussing options
with several other missionaries on the island, and constantly praying for God
to make things clear. And something happened—I was able to look past Molly’s
feelings and pain, my parents’ feelings, my own feelings, and make a good,
logical decision. What I felt was
that the right decision was rising to the forefront of my mind at the precise
moment I needed it, and I’m sure this was the Lord. At the same time, I
could see that He was helping me decide what was truly best for us, regardless of who felt what.
The first decision was for us both to fly to Tana a day
earlier than Molly had intended to, and to get her in a hospital there. I
decided this at about 11:15 in the morning, and we were on a plane by 6:30 that
evening (which, here in Madagascar, was pretty miraculous!) What followed was a
week of daily decision-making, with her situation and needs changing each day.
And though both of us were emotional roller-coasters, He kept enabling me to
make good decisions, over and over! He also blessed me abundantly throughout the time with help from the other missionaries--so many people were there for me in so many ways!
Thankfully, she improved quickly after we got to Tana,
though she did have to do more testing and have an IV for a few days. She was
able to fly back to the US only three days later than she was supposed to, and
now is doing great! I’m thankful for the extra time we had together, though it
was under rough circumstances, and I think it was a growing experience for both
of us. You can read her thoughts on the time on her blog:musingsonmada
I was thinking about how easy it was for me, during this
time, to make stopping her pain my main priority, although the real issue was
the infection. At times, my desire to keep her out of pain clouded my judgment.
When I think about my own life, I realize how often I make decisions in order
to avoid pain . . . and sometimes I assume God is doing the same thing. Though
I know this isn’t the case, deep inside somewhere I believe that following Him
will lead me down a happy, painless road. Thank goodness, His judgment is never
clouded! I can trust His leading, even when He leads me straight into some kind
of pain or suffering—I can still trust His good purpose and His love! May it
be!
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